Ok, I know ive already spoken about this on a previous post ( Official! ) , But now that ive told the 6 important people via text about me being diagnosed as Aspergers , i feel, now , is the time to cover a little history as to what has eventually lead me to this!
From about the age of 12, i knew something was odd / different , Cub / scout camps where terrifying for me, Why? Different surroundings and being away from family and the familiar home, I remember often using a shiny spoon to make sure that my face was not changing too much whilst i was away from home, worried that if it did, maybe my parents would not recognise me when they came to collect me from camp! Of course the use of the spoon, not a smart idea, as it distorted the face! PERFECT! :p
During school, well i kinda kept myself to myself, had 3 maybe 4 friends that i would gravitate towards from time to time, but nothing major really!
Then came the computer and electronics , yea! thats where i was at, did not want to go out and play ( did not see the point, nor really liked it much to be quite honest! ) so i would spend most of my time programming the TRS-80 or the ZX-Spectrun ( ZX80 first! ) and then the Atari ST , By i guess 16 i wrote a computer program that i “left” at Tandy / Radio Shack shop, where it “took” over their systems and displayed rude messages, and the staff who thought they knew it all could not even stop the program from running, let alone find the hidden code which i pushed all into high memory!!
The various jobs i held were never really anything that “helped” me, there was always an aspect in each job that i clashed with, none more so that the Wiggins Teape paper mill , That place was responsible to ramping my condition into critical zone! what with at least 2 attempts at taking my own life and a subsequent depression which i think lasted 2 years ( i was away, and yet still getting sick pay, for a LONG time! )
Eventually the mist started to clear when we moved to Kingsbridge, The Taxi driving was a means to an ends ( that is, getting contacts and getting known by the locals ) for my computer business.
Now the computer business is great, yes i have my down days, and always when in work mode, thats all anyone ever sees, is Adrain in work mode, i will not get out of the mode until im home….then the fall out.
Yes without Aspergers i could work alot longer and harder, however without it i would not be the computer IT geek that i am, infact im quite happy as i am, The downsides i just have to put up with!!
What are the downsides?
Well for me its always been sensory at the top
1. Sounds / Noise — can not filter it, it all comes in one go at same priority , it is, putting it mildly , quite panicing to get though, Ive only recently discovered noise cancelling earbuds+iPod = control over noise = possibly able to cope in loud areas, you just cant speak to me , cos ive also filtered you out too!
2.Touch — often the case, but nice soft clothing is a must, some shirts will get flung into orbit if they are scratchy ( and jumpers etc! ) , My immediate family have no doubt noticed that im not a great one for the “hug” either! Hilary and Rebecca are fine , anyone else sadly its just :/
3.Light — Bright lights / flashing lights ewwww! put me in Top Shop in Plymouth and time me to see how long i will remain in there!
There is so much more i could go on about i guess, things like having to send Hilary into a restaurant first, to make sure it is not to bright / loud / busy for me
And possibly my family got a glimpse into how quickly i shut down, like on December 28th when i just had to shut down and go to bed ( sorry who evers bed it was that i nicked! ) but this “shutting” down is a very regular thing! and it “ticks” me off to put it VERY politely to end up wasting my time in bed asleep due to not being able to cope with what ever was going on.
Guys / Family / Friends you are welcome to ask questions, im more than happy in trying to answering them, Sorry ive not even hinted at this before much really, but needed to be sure , before i opened my mouth , as i often end up shoving my foot in there!