Ive had a number of well meaning people say to me, “Adrian, im glad to hear you have got the diag of Aspergers, but you are still the same guy” ( or something similar, and please note this is not in anyway a dig, im overwhelmed with the awesome response ive had from people, so thanks! <3 ) And yes, they are all totally correct, nothing about me has changed in that respect, However now that it is OFFICIAL i can now gain access to help and services etc that i require. And this is in a nutshell what i was after ( though also just knowing from the professionals is also good! ) , Thing is this, this condition is invisible, for the most part, comments like " its not a life threaten condition" ( as one of my clients has said, think they were relieved that i was not gonna die on the spot, finding a good IT guy seems to be hard these days apparently ) , and again, whilst true, it makes life VERY hard, and has in the past put me into a position where i simply wanted to end my life. Whilst i understand that it must be so totally hard / foreign for others to understand, Autism is always "on" there is no respite from it, and that in itself is very draining. This is sorta a follow on post from "official" and will be the last that i shall be making directly about myself and my recent discovery of Aspergers ( really dont want to bend any of your ears off guys <3 ) So whats the point of this post? 1. Just knowing about it goes a LONG way in coping better with it! 2. Attempting to get people to understand that whilst im not missing any limbs there is still something profoundly hard that people like myself have to put up with every waking hour , That said , the benefits ( if thats the best word i can find ) of having a "hot wired" brain is kinda cool, and i certainly would not be the person i am today! 3. General awareness to any "hidden" medical problems people have. One of the most major things that affect me ( as already mentioned ) is stress and sensory overload ( though these two are also linked alittle too! ) , Last week for example , Thursday , was a HEAVY day , now in work mode i preformed according to correct parameters ( as DATA would put it ) , However when i got home .... Well things then just slowly took over, and yet again, find myself popping migraine pills and heading to a darkened bedroom. And i hate that!! How many hours do i waste of my life in bed with a throbbing headache, Just because the world is too loud, sometimes too complicated, or ive spent hours on end "blending in" with normality ( or more often that not all the mentioned combined plus more! ) And this is what other people do NOT see, i for one try VERY hard not to talk about this, smile and say everything is cool, and as soon as i shut the front door, i collapse in a heap, and slowly drag myself to bed ( again! ). If you know someone who is autistic / aspergers / bi-polar etc ... wiki it / google it find out what it is, and how ( if possible ) you can help. Now that ive found out whats been "odd" about myself, i feel almost compelled to help others in any form that i can, and it seems that this blog my well just be of some help to others in similar situations. If you currently do not have an official diag, then i strongly recommend going for one, Its going to be a long journey , but for me, at least , so far its been worth it. AS ive already mentioned above, this is the last "blogging" that im going to be making about myself, and describing my so called woes etc, think ive covered a good chunk to be going on with, though my email address is always open if people need to email, or use the comments system in here. From here on in, im going to try to bring info , news , anything helpful to light here, it will mainly be on the themes of :- Autism, Aspergers, Dyslexia Photography ^^ Computers ( duh! :p )



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